Northern Valley Beacon

The South Dakota AB (abortion and abstinence) Task Force and Taliban Wing of that certain party (shown above) met in closed session and delivered proposed legislation to committees of the South Dakota Legislature mandating that all women in the state must wear burkas. The legislative committees got locked in heated arguments over whether the mandate should be attached as an amendment to the abortion ban, the mandate to teach abstinence in schools, or the cultural diversity bill that affects higher education.

"It doesn't matter what bill it gets tacked onto," said Rep. Roger Hunt, the main author of AB legislation. "What matters is that we save life so that we can deny it from having a life. Controlling other peoples lives and setting up a criminal code to make them adhere to our good, American values is the first priority."

In the proposed legislation, any woman caught not wearing a burka, making any claim to individual freedom or equality, or asserting herself in any manner will be guilty of a Class 3 felony.