Northern Valley Beacon

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Friday, October 28, 2005


Janklow nominated for Supreme Court

Sources at the $1-A-Month Club, Professor Bob in particular, said that the Bush administration is working behind the scenes to reinstate Bill Janklow's law license so that he can be nominated to the U.S. Supreme Court.

George W. was tracked down for comment as he and Harriet Miers headed for Camp David to refine their strategy. Speaking from behind Ms. Miers skirt, but not intelligibly, as usual, he said that he wants to appoint someone with experience in a wide range of issues. "Bill Janklow has more issues than any other candidate I can think of," said Pres. Bush. "Shut up, Georgie," said Ms. Miers. "You've done and said enough." And she dragged him into the helicopter with the dog leash usually used by Dick Cheney. "Are you serving as the Vice President?" asked one reporter. Miers paused on the steps. "Remember what the Vice President said to Sen. Leahy? Well, same to you." The rest of her statement was cut off by the roar of the helicopter.

Sen. Thune was asked if he had a role in the nomination of Janklow. "Georgie never consults me on anything anymore." Asked if he supported the Janklow nomination, Thune said, "I really have to look at his record, if the White House will release it. I have concerns. That hussy was friendly with Tom Daschle, and that may be too extreme for the people in my state, to say nothing of the cattle. And the horsies. And the mountain lions...."

His statement was cut off when a man named Wadhams stuffed a dead pheasant in his mouth.

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